挣扎，在标准和自责的地狱中

He suffers from the cruel contradiction of what he wants,
and what he can actually gain.
For all that matters, he does understand his own shortcomings,
alas he himself cannot pardon his possession of a despicable, false trait.
Cultural differences, at this mere moment presented so devastating, to have resulted in his eternal misery, which he seemingly can hide, but can never erase.
He should be his own very best evidence.